Matty stretching it out on the rooftop patio...
DJ Johnny Wild!At least that’s what we decided he was saying, as his voice was a constant presence on our ride aboard the Bequia Eagle. I was surprised he wasn't mentioned on the website as he really is the key component of the tour, or shall we say the dominant presence, as he was, I believe the "Official Tour Guide," who was misidentified by yours truly as the actual Capitan as he came running on board with a coffee just as we were about to pull out of port. I think we were lucky he was not, as we would have missed his "show!"
We had premonitions of what it was going to be like on the boat with him for 5 hours when he offered to do a strip show for some of the louder, shall we say, more mature passengers, a group of 7 ladies from Argentina. He rubbed his nipples and did a little twirl as the giggled and he went back below. As I said, "I guess he's not the captain."
Throughout his awkwardly cut DJ set of everything from Reggaeton to Salsatech and classic canciones del amor, his voice was a constant bracing chatterbox that layered uncomfortably with his aggressive early morning routine. So much so that his original fans, the Argentinean matriarchs, pulled the plug on his upstairs speakers, much to everyone's relief.
His true colors came out when, on the return voyage, I ran into him coming out of the head, now dressed in a full white linen suit, talking excitedly about his upcoming show, as he simultaneously attempted to get my hat off my head, I suppose as a kind of anticipatory or perhaps preemptive tip.
Upon returning to the roof with a couple of refreshing but incredibly light beers, I informed Matty and the group of beat red- Aguardiente drunk - Calenos in the emergency raft behind us of our hosts new get-up. At that instant we heard through the peal of raucous laughter, the shrill catcall of Johnny Wild as he called everyone below to watch his striptease. No one moved from the upper deck, and the patter continued, as he lamented he could not do his show because he was worried about his safety as the women had gathered around too close in their anticipation. We had no visual proof of this, but were somewhat relieved if only for the sake of the Argentinean set. So, he sill wanted to give us a present, he said, even if he could not, in good conscience show off his body, he would instead do a dance and then serenade us to his own mix of a famous pop artist. And so that's how we came to sit through a 15 minute routine alongside some of MJs least famous songs, while we were left to imagine, DJ Johnny Wild, cutting it up with the moonwalk and other flashy moves to an eager crowd of women, waiting on his every disharmonious note...
